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  Apple Update 09:43 PM -- Sat September 22, 2007  

Relative success! Would you like to make Apple Fries? Since no one else on the internet actually has a recipe for these, I will provide one! Here's some keywords to help searchers end up on this page, so they don't suffer like I did: Legoland, apple fries, Granny, vanilla cream sauce

Legolandesque Apple Fries
  • 3 Granny Smith Apples
  • 1 Egg
  • 1 1/2 Tablespoons butter
  • 1 1/2 Tablespoons flour
  • 1 1/2 Tablespoons sugar
  • Milk of indeterminate measure
  • Cinnamon-sugar to sprinkle
  • Lots of vegetable/canola/peanut oil (whatever you like to fry in)
Peel the apples and core them. Slice into small, fry-shaped pieces. This is easiest to do the way we did it - with one of those apple coring things that automatically cuts it into 8 or so slices and removes the core. But you will definitely need to cut those slices each into several smaller ones. You want small, McDonald's-fry-sized pieces. You can also do steak fries, but I found them best when smaller.
Melt the butter in a bowl in the microwave, on low settings so that it doesn't actually get very hot, just melted. Then mix in the egg, flour, and sugar. Get it all mixed up nicely, and add milk until it's a nice thin pancake batter consistency.
Heat up some oil in a pot. In order to not have a huge mess to deal with, I used a really tiny pot, and didn't even fill it very deeply. It's quite possible to deep-fry in just a little oil as long as you do a small amount of food at a time, and use a small container so it actually stays deep! I've done a lot of frying, and if you haven't, don't be afraid. It really is a very easy way to cook, if very unhealthy. The only downside is the huge pile of dirty oil you end up having to throw away at the end (and usually dredge junk out of several times during the cooking). Now you just dip the apple slices in the goo (a few at a time), drop them in the oil and fry until they're a nice golden brown. Take the slices out and let them drain on paper towels. Sprinkle the cinnamon-sugar on them while they drain, so it will stick. Delicious!
Now, for "vanilla cream sauce", I don't have a very precise recipe for you, but it sure was yummy: cream cheese (block, not spready), warmed up so it's mixable, mixed with a couple drops of vanilla and some powdered sugar. Not too much powdered sugar, or you've made cream cheese frosting! Stir it up good, and dip your apples in it, and enjoy immensely.

These fries don't seem to be as crisp or as thickly-coated as the Legoland ones, but I sure enjoyed them.

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