A Little "Alien" Talk

[Ufo-Man]

10:20 [Ufo-Man]: I am an alien
10:20 [Ufo-Man]: I have came to take over the world
10:20 [Mr.Onion]: How?
10:20 [Mr.Onion]: The world is big place.
10:20 [Ufo-Man]: Us aliens got mad once we heard about the Game4Fans little play
10:20 [Mr.Onion]: Didn't you see that notice on the ad?
10:21 [Ufo-Man]: I am just a spy
10:21 [Mr.Onion]: "Dominant species may be in possesion of nuclear/chemical/biological weapons. Invade at your own risk."

10:22 [Ufo-Man]: We know that your technology will be your downfall
10:23 [Ufo-Man]: So we are going to take over and save you
10:23 [Ufo-Man]: from your own demise
10:23 [Mr.Onion]: Do you know of the Martians, over on Sol IV?
10:23 [Mr.Onion]: They tried conquering us too.
10:23 [Ufo-Man]: No
10:23 [Mr.Onion]: They're invasion failed.
10:24 [Ufo-Man]: I live on Omecron Persi I 8
10:24 [Ufo-Man]: Somehow, you found out about our planet
10:24 [Mr.Onion]: Do you have ground troops?
10:24 [Ufo-Man]: but not who lives there
10:24 [Mr.Onion]: Calculating coodinates...
10:25 [Mr.Onion]: Are you going to use a ground invasion force?
10:25 [Ufo-Man]: We have both above and ground troops
10:25 [Ufo-Man]: You cant put the coordinates
10:25 [Ufo-Man]: on here
10:25 [Mr.Onion]: Coodinates calculated, dialing gate.
10:25 [Mr.Onion]: Gate not found.
10:25 [Ufo-Man]: Stop messing around, this is no game
10:26 [Mr.Onion]: Your ground invasion will fail.
10:26 [Mr.Onion]: And your arial force will also fail.
10:26 [Ufo-Man]: well, we have above ground
10:26 [Mr.Onion]: That will fail as well.
10:26 [Ufo-Man]: UFOs?
10:26 [Mr.Onion]: Capable of absorbing...
10:27 [Ufo-Man]: Those UFOs you see are our- How do you say- Children's UFOs
10:27 [Ufo-Man]: We have been studying your race
10:28 [Mr.Onion]: Are you ships capable of absorbing 2.09200 × 10^18 joules of energy each?
10:29 [Mr.Onion]: My guess is that they aren't.
10:29 [Mr.Onion]: Am I right?
10:29 [Ufo-Man]: We dont use energy
10:29 [Ufo-Man]: We use light
10:30 [Mr.Onion]: That wasn't the question.
10:30 [Mr.Onion]: And you need to brush up on your science. :p
10:30 [Mr.Onion]: Light IS energy. :p
10:31 [Mr.Onion]: Connection to MoD complete...
10:31 [Ufo-Man]: They are capeable of absorbing only 2.00059 × 10^17 joules of energy each 2
10:31 [Mr.Onion]: >?
10:31 [Mr.Onion]: Ah.
10:31 [Mr.Onion]: Are your troops on the ground?
10:31 [Ufo-Man]: no
10:32 [Mr.Onion]: Awaiting response from mod.gov.uk...
10:32 [Ufo-Man]: we are first trying to sabotage your AI technology, so we dont have to take over you
10:32 [Mr.Onion]: Awaiting response from dod.gov.com
10:32 [Ufo-Man]: Ever heard of the Uni-Bomber?
10:32 [Mr.Onion]: We do not have AI.
10:32 [Ufo-Man]: You are working on it
10:32 [Mr.Onion]: Ground forces are unecessary.
10:33 [Mr.Onion]: Pay attention to the small print.
10:33 [Mr.Onion]: Connection complete..,
10:33 [Mr.Onion]: Missles launced.
10:33 [Mr.Onion]: *launched.
10:34 [Ufo-Man]: Your nukes are the 2nd downfall if the RoboSapiens don't take over your planet
10:34 [Mr.Onion]: You now have several hundred gigatons of nuclear devices heading towards you. Have a nice day. :grin:
10:34 [Ufo-Man]: This is no joke
10:34 [Ufo-Man]: We have all your normal technology.
10:34 [Ufo-Man]: If Nukes were sent, we would see
10:34 [Mr.Onion]: We do not have the technology to defend against our own technology.
10:34 [Mr.Onion]: Goodbye.
10:35 [Ufo-Man]: that is why we are trying to sabotage you.
10:35 [Ufo-Man]: Ever heard of the Uni-Bomber?
10:35 [Mr.Onion]: No.
10:35 [Ufo-Man]: He was our first trying to sabotage, and it failed.
10:35 [Ufo-Man]: Look it up
10:35 [Mr.Onion]: Yes
10:36 [Mr.Onion]: Oh wait, HIM?
10:36 [Ufo-Man]: The FC on it does not stand for Freedom Club, it stands for out race and our capital
10:36 [Mr.Onion]: We have a name for him.
10:36 [Ufo-Man]: our*
10:37 [Mr.Onion]: You are talking about something else.
10:37 [Mr.Onion]: The "uni-bomber" is otherwise known as Theodore Kaczynski.
10:37 [Ufo-Man]: Yes
10:37 [Mr.Onion]: He's just a terrorist.
10:38 [Ufo-Man]: Also known as our first person to try to sabotage your technology
10:38 [Mr.Onion]: They fail.
10:38 [Mr.Onion]: The cutting edge of our military technology is almost impossible to sabotague.

Now, you can comment.

[Ufo-Man]

Part 2:
10:39 : The Helsinki Bombs are your 3rd downfall if the otehr 2 dont take over your race
10:40 [Ufo-Man]: Dolphins are accually smarter than humans
10:40 [Mr.Onion]: That is not relavent.
10:41 [Ufo-Man]: In 2010-2050, they will aim them at the north pole, which will make floods everywhere
10:41 [Mr.Onion]: Terrorists can't kill the entire race.
10:41 [Mr.Onion]: Who will aim what?
10:41 [Ufo-Man]: The dolphins will aim the helsinki bombs at the north pole
10:42 [Mr.Onion]: And?
10:42 [Ufo-Man]: So their brothers and sisters will be free, and the floods will kill all your race
10:42 [Mr.Onion]: That scenario is not possible.
10:43 [Ufo-Man]: yes it is
10:43 [Ufo-Man]: your race thinks it is not possible
10:43 [Mr.Onion]: We do not have the convention ammunition to do such a thing.
10:43 [Mr.Onion]: There are not the resources to do so.
10:43 [Ufo-Man]: they have the helsinki bombs
10:44 [Mr.Onion]: Those are conventional. They are not large enough to do any significant damage.
10:44 [Ufo-Man]: they will melt the north pole
10:44 [Mr.Onion]: Unless you are talking about something other than this:
10:44 [Ufo-Man]: and will flood you planet
10:44 [Mr.Onion]: [U]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_Helsinki_in_World_War_II (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_Helsinki_in_World_War_II)
10:45 [Mr.Onion]: The north pole is several gigatons of ice.
10:45 [Mr.Onion]: We do not even have the <i>nuclear</i> firepower to melt it all.
10:46 [Ufo-Man]: there will be enough to anialate the population of your planet
10:46 [Ufo-Man]: and if you are wondering about global warming
10:46 [Ufo-Man]: it will be canceled out by nuclear winter
10:46 [Mr.Onion]: How do you propose to anilihate the north pole with no technology whatsoever?
10:47 [Ufo-Man]: The helsinki bombs. the dolphins will use them
10:47 [Mr.Onion]: How?
10:47 [Mr.Onion]: Also, can you please clarify what the "helsinki" bombs are?
10:47 [Ufo-Man]: they are smarter than humans
10:47 [Ufo-Man]: they will use them like the terrorists do
10:48 [Mr.Onion]: And utterly defy the laws of physics?
10:48 [Ufo-Man]: yes
10:48 [Ufo-Man]: They will use them like terrorists do
10:48 [Mr.Onion]: That's a neat trick.

10:49 [davedude]: hi
10:49 [Mr.Onion]: It's also a neat trick that the dolphins have developed SCUBA while we weren't looking.
10:50 [davedude]: hi
10:50 [Ufo-Man]: Scuba Is a myth
10:50 [Mr.Onion]: Hi
10:50 [Ufo-Man]: it is not real
10:50 [Mr.Onion]: So how do the dolphins survive?
10:50 [davedude]: hi
10:50 [Ufo-Man]: their bodies are made in a way
10:50 [davedude]: hi
10:51 [Ufo-Man]: they are smarter than humans, and they have found ways.
10:51 [Mr.Onion]: So that they have both lungs and gills?
10:51 [Ufo-Man]: yes
10:51 [Ufo-Man]: that is a beta version
10:51 [Mr.Onion]: And have developed, from the sound of things, 2200+ years of medical science whilst we weren't looking?
10:52 [davedude]: hi
10:52 [davedude]: quite
10:52 [Ufo-Man]: there are about 50+ and counting that have the new version where they can breath anywhere, not having to use both
10:52 [davedude]: so when nuclear warfare breaks out, they will fly away on jetpacks and sing: So long and thatkns for all the fish..
10:53 [Ufo-Man]: that is a movie
10:53 [Mr.Onion]: Regardless of whose bombs you use, you can't melt the north pole.
10:53 [Ufo-Man]: they will be the ones that take over earth
10:53 [davedude]: unless you knock out the heatmizer
10:53 [Ufo-Man]: they have been working on making them stronger
10:53 [Ufo-Man]: Davedude, this is not a joke
10:54 [Mr.Onion]: If you are trying to "save" us from the dophins, we don't you be more specific about their plan?
10:54 [Mr.Onion]: Which is apparently going to happen 2-32 years from now.
10:55 [Ufo-Man]: Right now, we must focus on your first downfall: AI AKA Robosapiens
10:55 [Mr.Onion]: Not possible.
10:55 [Ufo-Man]: Possible
10:55 [Mr.Onion]: AI that outrank a human will not appear for 10 years, at the least.
10:55 [Ufo-Man]: yes
10:55 [Mr.Onion]: 50+ at the most.
10:56 [Mr.Onion]: Justify your statement.
10:56 [Ufo-Man]: and most likely, the dolphins will act smart and pick the right time to attack
10:56 [Mr.Onion]: How will AI that match a human's appear within the next 10 years?
10:56 [Ufo-Man]: humans are not as smart as dolphins, but they are faster than dolphins
10:57 [Mr.Onion]: Also, a smart dolphin would attack NOW, before we have the technology that would make such a feat impossible.
10:57 [Ufo-Man]: and Dolphins are most likely going to use them either when Robots take over, or when all nukes will be destroyed
10:58 [Ufo-Man]: Dolphins are thinking smart if they are going to destroy them when/if robots take over
10:58 [Ufo-Man]: 1 word: Rust.
10:59 [Mr.Onion]: Stainles stell.
10:59 [Mr.Onion]: *stainless stell
10:59 [Mr.Onion]: *steel
10:59 [Ufo-Man]: when they flood the world, the robots will rust, and go to the water
10:59 [Ufo-Man]: and they will be too heavy
10:59 [Mr.Onion]: They will still function.
11:00 [Ufo-Man]: they wont be able to work once they hit the bottom of the water
11:00 [Mr.Onion]: They will work perfectly.
11:00 [Mr.Onion]: Our robots are extremly robust compared to us.
11:00 [Ufo-Man]: and also, the loch ness
11:00 [Mr.Onion]: OK, maybe not perfectly, but well.
11:00 [Ufo-Man]: giant squids
11:01 [Mr.Onion]: Dolphins live in tropical waters, yes?
11:01 [Ufo-Man]: the floods will make the loch ness and the giant squids go to other places
11:02 [Mr.Onion]: Please answer the question.
11:02 [Ufo-Man]: yes
11:02 [Ufo-Man]: and all waters will mix, so they can live anywhere
11:02 [Mr.Onion]: A dolphin who had an understanding of ecology would not use nuclear devices to anilihate the North Pole.
11:03 [Ufo-Man]: as I already told you, global warming will be canceled out by nuclear winter
11:04 [Mr.Onion]: If humans are elimated, global warming becomes a non-issue.
11:04 [Mr.Onion]: And GW would not cancel out a nuclear winter.
11:04 [Mr.Onion]: The resultant nuclear winter will elimate all tropical waters, which would lead to the extinction of most tropical marine life, dolphins included.

11:05 [Ufo-Man]: Nuclear winter will be canceled out by GW and vice versa
11:06 [Mr.Onion]: GW will not cancel out nuclear winters.

[Mr.Onion]

I cannot believe I did that for 40 minutes straight. :p

[Ufo-Man]

46....

[souperzombie]

:o. Just :o. With an extra topping of :o on top.

[Ufo-Man]

You did not see anything...

[Maiden Japan 007]

lol, funny

[BunnyBot 5000]

:shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock:: shock::shock:
OMYGOSH...

[Ufo-Man]

......

[Maiden Japan 007]

:shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock:: shock::shock:
OMYGOSH...


Shock?

[ElMikkino]

You do realise that he stole Omecron Persi VIII and nuclear winter cancelling out GW in the futrure from Futurama, right?

[Ufo-Man]

......................

[PurpleKoopa]

We are the space robots! We are here to protect you from the terrible secret of space.

Sorry, if it's any kind of conspiracy sci-fi or anything like it... the Terrible Secret of Space is immediately the first thing that comes to mind, regardless of what the actual kind of... um... thing we're talking about!