The Funny Quotes Thread!

[Mr.Onion]

Please make sure they are not offensive.

"I have not lost my mind. I have it on disk."

"Caesar ruled Rome with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string." ~Spike Mulligan

[ 18:58:50 ] Jamul: you can have all of atkins' [Y$], unless he says ''FLOGWIZZLE!'' in the next 10 seconds.
[ 18:59:00 ] ChatkinsSJ4_zed: FLOGWIZZLE!

"Yes, I specifically modified the chat to freak out and explode when people make rooms." ~Jamul.

[Knittel]

"Never say 'Oops' in the operating room" ~ Cheeslord's Sig

[Ryuinfinity]

I bought a dog called stay. It's funny when I call him: Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay! It drives him crazy.
I went to a restaurant that offered breakfast anytime. I ordered pancakes in the renaissance.
I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room. It is now exactly the same as it was before.
-All Quotes by Stephen Wright

[varkarrus]

I bought a dog called Come here. It's funny when I make him Stay. Stay come here, Stay, come here. It drives him crazy
Quote by me when I first got my dog 5 years ago.

[CheeseLord]

"A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar." -H. L. Mencken

"We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate." - Frank McKinney Hubbard

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." - Mark Twain

[Mr.Onion]

"...Music and lyrics are usually meant to fit together, and not with any opld rubbish." ~AtkinsSJ

[AtkinsSJ]

"I don't suffer from insanity, I quite enjoy it." - Anonymous

[Mr.Onion]

4:27 [CheeseLord]: In theory, there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice, however, there is.

[BunnyBot 5000]

"When in doubt, consult the Pit of Death to make all of your doubt go away." ~BB5k

[PlasmaCannonsRule]

"Nitroglycerin Weight Loss Tablets work wonders. They get rid of all that excess body weight. And more."
-Moi