HSF Text Adventure!

[Cheeseman778]

It's the Hamumu Software Forums Text Adventure.

You suddenly wake up and find yourself in a dark, wet dungeon cell, stripped of everything but the most basic clothing. The only light coming into the cell is from a single barred door window and a very high up window on the opposite wall.

Despite the fact that you don't have anything, you do see a few objects lying on the ground. You find a handle-less partially rusty knife, a walk-man with ear buds, and an issue of Polo Shirts Monthly.

What do you do?

This is the part where you, the reader comes in. You decide what to do next. Odds are I'll combine a couple of reader-submitted actions to compromise, so multiple people have their way.

If you guys want to do something like this with a different storyline, I'll gladly post suggestions.

[hyperme]

Open Door

[Cheeseman778]

You walk over to the cell door and attempt to open it. As expected, it's locked. What kind of dungeon would this be if prisoners could freely exit their cells?

[Connor S.]

I listen to mooozik!

[Cheeseman778]

You pick up the walk man and put on the ear buds. You open up the walk-man and check the tape. It isn't labeled. You close it again and press play.

The melodic notes of New Age music calms you and makes you forget that you're in a wet, dark dungeon cell.

[varkarrus]

Gather water into bucket

[Cheeseman778]

You look around for a bucket, but there isn't one. You open up Polo Shirts Monthly and find a free Cleversdale Polo Shirt sample. You attempt to collect water with the shirt sample, but it only gets the shirt wet. You need something of a better material and bucket-shaped to complete the task of collecting water.

[Hammer Up!]

Try to break the dungeon's door.

[Cheeseman778]

You walk over to the dungeon door, still listening to the pleasantly eerie New Age music in your walk-man. With your Tranquility Stat overmaxed as far as it can go, you pound on the thick, wooden door, rattling it.

As much pounding as you do, you fail to open it.

[varkarrus]

I allow the shirt sample to soak until it gets big. Then I mold it into a bucket shape.

[Cheeseman778]

Meanwhile, the shirt sample gets soaking wet. You pick it up and attempt to ring it out since you wanted to wear it because it's better than the rags you're wearing. While ringing it out, you come up with the idea to mold it into a bucket.

You try your hardest to shape the wet shirt sample into a bucket, but it gets you nowhere. What a waste of time.

[AtkinsSJ]

Hehe, is this one of those puzzles?

Slide the magazine under the door, and use the knife to push the key out through the other side. Then slide the magazine back into your cell.

[Coolguy]

I use the partial knife to pick the lock.

If that doesn't work, I look out the door window to see what's outside.

[Cheeseman778]

You pick up the handle-less, partially rusted knife and attempt to open the door with it. You slip it through the door and try to undo the lock. Unfortunately, your lock-picking stat proves useless. It needs work.

You quickly give up and look out the barred cell door. You see another cell door across from you and inside the window, you see another prisoner. Judging by his moustache and beard, he has been in his cell for awhile. You look on the floor and see nothing but cobblestones, just like your cell floor.

[ALLEN2]

Sarping the knife on the floor.

[Cheeseman778]

You think back to the knife you have for a second. Would it be a good idea to sharpen it? You decide to sharpen it on using the floor as a whet stone. You sharpen the knife for future use.

[Hammer Up!]

Now use the knife to break/open the door.

[Cheeseman778]

You wield the knife, increasing your Awesome Fightness Stat. You commence combat with the Door!

[Coolguy]

I throw my knife at that guy through the window, attempting to kill him! (Just kidding, I don't)

I'll talk to the guy.

[Cheeseman778]

In an anticlimatic manner, you attempt to have a conversation with the inanimate door. The door says nothing back.

[Coolguy]

I meant the prisoner on the other side of the door.

[Cheeseman778]

You decide to put off your fight with the door and talk to the man looking through the door opposite yours.

He tells you that he's been in this dungeon for so long, he stopped counting the years after he reached 20. He says the only company he gets besides the person who feeds him is a rat he befriended a long time ago.

He notices your knife and tells you he has a wooden block, an MC Hammer tape, an old boot, and a copy of From Dubai with Love.

[Connor S.]

Ask him for the MC Hammer tape, put it in the walkman- listen. BOOYAKASHA!

[Coolguy]

I ask him to toss me the Wooden Block. :p

[Cheeseman778]

You ask the man if you can have the wooden block and the MC Hammer tape. The man asks how you would retrieve these items without them falling onto the hallway floor, claimable by guards.

[Connor S.]

Magic, duh. Anyways, the guards can just come in here and take them any time- the simple fact that they have let the other guy keep his for 20 years means we're supposed to have them. The guards wouldn't steal them. Lets be logical people!

[Cheeseman778]

Did someone say magic? Why, there's magic in the rusty knife. How about fighting the door? For real this time?

[Hammer Up!]

Fight the door,then!

[Cheeseman778]

You face the door with a determined glare on your face. You hold your knife in all its chainy goodness. You form a small but evident smirk on your face as you rev up your knife and drive it into the door, making a loud noise, but who cares?! You're more than fighting the door. You're terminating it!

The door falls apart like the Western Roman Empire did around 300 A.D.

[Coolguy]

I check for guards outside. If there's none, I step out and free the other prisoner.

[Cheeseman778]

You check for guards outside. You see none. You use your trusty, gas-powered knife on the prisoner's door and free him. The prisoner comes out with his things and gives you the wooden block and MC Hammer tape.

Congratulations! The Prisoner has joined you! Since there are now two different people to control, you have to specify who does what. This will work for other possible characters that show up.

I.E. "You: Do this." "Prisoner: Do that."

[Hammer Up!]

You and Prisoner:Go outside.

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner walk down the hall, surprisingly not hearing anything from the other cells. In fact, it's a little too quiet. After a few minutes of walking, you wonder where the guards are at. Maybe they're all taking their coffee break...at the same time.

You keep walking down the hall way, the dungeon cell doors showing no signs of stopping.

[Hammer Up!]

Both:Keep walking

[Cheeseman778]

You question whether you should keep walking down this seemingly endless hallway of cell doors. All seemed pointless, when you come across a different colored door. It was painted red and had a rather decorative handle on it. There was no keyhole on it.

Another prisoner reaches towards them through his barred window, yelling profanity too foul to type in words.

Also, there's a hermit crab crawling along the wall.

[hyperme]

Get Crab

[Cheeseman778]

You pick up the hermit crab. It flails about while you hold its shell.

[hyperme]

Examine Crab

[Cheeseman778]

Hermit Crab

HP: One hit = Killed
Alignment: Neutral
Abilities: Find New Shell, Lv. 1 Pincer, Lv. 1 Excrete

[Coolguy]

The characters check their inventory... And the main protagonist (the guy we started with) inspects that magazine the prisoner had to see if he had a bonus prize, like how the polo magazine had a shirt.

Prisoner: Look through window on red door (if there is one).

[Cheeseman778]

Inventory
Walk-man (New Age)
Rusty Knife
MC Hammer Tape
Wooden Block
Old Boot
From Dubai with Love

Unfortunately, there is no window to look through on the red door.

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

Attack Red Door with knife

[Cheeseman778]

You attack the door with your revved up knife! The door showed no resistance and got cut up like a toddler's hot dog by his caring mother.

After the door falls in shambles, you see a stairway with fluorescent lightning.

[varkarrus]

Take Lightbulb.

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

Both:Climb stairs

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner climb the steps upward. You look up at one of the fluorescent lights in slight interest. You imagine using one as a weapon on those filthy guards you haven't seen yet, but your height stat isn't high enough to open up a light for its precious fluorescent light.

You reach the top of the steps, but you see another set of stairs, at the top of them, a black push door. On the left wall of the upper stairway, you see a lambda symbol graffiti. Below it is a phone number.

[Coolguy]

I look for headcrabs.

If I don't find any, I slowly peek inside the door.

[blackmyth]

The prisoner memorizes the phone number.

[Cheeseman778]

You develop a little image in your head of the hermit crab with a person's head replacing its own crustaceous noggin. You call it a "head crab." You feel a brief wave of enthusiasm as your Creativity stat permanently increases by a small but good enough margin for coming up with the "head crab."

Meanwhile, the Prisoner memorizes the phone number underneath the Lambda symbol. The hermit crab is still in your hand this whole time, flailing its pincers about like a moron, fruitlessly trying to escape the tight grasp of your two fingers.

You attempt to look through the window on the top door, but alas, there is no window.

[blackmyth]

The Prisoner pushes open the door.

[Cheeseman778]

The prisoner opens the door. Right in front of them, there's a bulletin board full of notices. The most eye-popping bulletin was an a notice for the Prisoner Guard Talent Show. The tack holding it up was the biggest tack one could make. Imagine the size of the needle.

[hyperme]

Get Tack
Eat Crab

[Cheeseman778]

The Prisoner wields the Giant Tack. It comes with 2 rounds. Use them sparingly.

You lift up the crab and its mindless flailing about looks adorable and discouraging. Perhaps this pet could be useful in the future.

[hyperme]

Get Billboard
Get Door
Get Get

[varkarrus]

Attach Tack to Crab Claw

[Coolguy]

Both: Look around the room to see if there's anything other than the bulletin board.

[Cheeseman778]

You pick up "Get." You have no idea what it is, but it's either useful or useless. Who knows?

The Prisoner admires his giant tack and imagines it being equipped by the hermit crab. What a waste of time.

You and the Prisoner look around the room and see a sturdy dinner table, a refrigerator, some counter space, kitchen appliances, a coffee maker, some cutting boards, and a TV suspended to the top of the ceiling in a corner.

It sounds like the guards have finished their coffee break and headed back to work. But you didn't see any guards on the way to this lounge area. What kind of dungeon is this?

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

Both: Raid Fridge

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner decide to raid the Fridge. You enter its cold depths. You and the Prisoner appear on a translucent floor inside the fridge. Directly ahead of you are cans of soda, several containers of leftovers (each labeled with their contents and date stored), and a box of baking soda.

Above you are other refrigerated goods, some of them obvious, others not so due to the fact you're looking at them from below.

Behind you is the closed refrigerator door. It's full of bottles full of condiments, marinades, and cooking alcohol. Perhaps this fridge belongs to the dungeon chef? Makes you wonder, since prisoners never get good meals and the guards would typically brag about such things as delicious meals to their prisoners to make them feel worse off if they had them.

Then again, this is the weirdest dungeon one has ever encountered.

Underneath is the crisper. How you get in there is currently a mystery. In fact, how to get anywhere in the fridge is a mystery.

[varkarrus]

OOC: Give Coke to Varkarrus.

Varkarrus: Opens and drinks...

If only.

Anyways

Hardens Condiments into makeshift gun holders.

Attaches soda to holders

Shakes, preparing to let loose a blast of soda at armed gaurds.

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner are roughly the size of soda cans right now.

[blackmyth]

Me and the prisoner climb onto the fridge door, and climb up to the next shelf. If the shelves on the side of the fridge door are too high to reach, we push a pop can over to climb on and reach it.

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner attempt to ascend higher into the fridge. You push a can of soda towards the front of the fridge, where the upper floors are accessible. The Prisoner helps you up and you in turn help him up.

You are now within reach of the second floor of the Fridge.

[blackmyth]

Both me and the prisoner climb onto the second floor of the fridge, and take a good look at it, and the floor above us, if there is one.

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner reach the second floor. You see several jars of Piggo spaghetti sauce, some marinating meat in plastic bags, and a large doggy box containing who knows what? You can see the condiments more clearly. You see a bottle of Heiny's Ketchup, Z26 Steak Sauce, Italian's Mustard, Sloppy Bob's Southern Smokey BBQ Sauce, a generic bottle full of a mysterious liquid, and a squeezable bottle of Belch's Strawberry Jelly.

There's quite a few spin-off food products here.

[blackmyth]

We work together to open the doggy box.

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner open up the doggy box with little effort. Inside was a giant slice of pepperoni and mushroom pizza.

[varkarrus]

Uses Pepperoni as Meat Shield

[Cheeseman778]

You peel off a slice of pepperoni and decide to use it as a shield in the future.

Be sure to specify who does what. Remember to use "You:" or "Prisoner:" or "Both:". You could even have both characters do separate things. It's called "teamwork."

Also, be really creative. And by creative, I mean crazy. You never know what might happen.

[varkarrus]

Both: Eat until full.

[sonicchaos1993]

You: Use cheese from pizza to make cheese boomerangs
Prisoner: Feed hermit crab to turn it into a giant hermit crab

[Cheeseman778]

You get a wacky idea to mold refrigerated cheese into cheese boomerangs. You attempt to make a boomerang out of the cheese off the leftover pizza. The idea isn't panning out, unfortunately. Perhaps there is harder cheese elsewhere in the fridge? You really want to make a cheese boomerang. Perhaps exploring is worth the effort.

The Prisoner takes pieces of pepperoni, mushrooms, crust, and cheese and feeds it to the hermit crab. The hermit crab enjoys the mushrooms and crust, but it ignores the pepperoni and cheese.

You and the Prisoner eat your fill of cold pizza, both of your Stomachs at full capacity.

[hyperme]

Examine Get which you let us Get
Go to third shelf

[Cheeseman778]

Get

Function: One-use item to acquire an otherwise inaccessible item or switch. Item or switch has to be in sight (using naked eye or some sort of scope). Disappears after use.

You and the Prisoner attempt to figure out a way to the top shelf. Perhaps the Piggo spaghetti sauce jars would work? You and the Prisoner push the Piggo jar within reach of the third floor. The Prisoner helps you up onto the Piggo jar and you, in turn, help him up. You are now within reach of the top shelf.

[blackmyth]

Both climb up to the next shelf.

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner reach the top shelf. You see a carton of milk, a carton of Bob's Strawberry Kiwi juice, a 2-liter of Forest Dew, a brick of cheddar, and a generic bag of chocolates.

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

Store Forest Dew, make cheese boomeranges out of chedder.

[sonicchaos1993]

Both: Drink Forest Dew and become hyper

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner make a couple cheese boomerangs out of the cheddar cheese block. You each make 5 of them.

You look at the Forest Dew. It's very immense. It'd most likely crush you if you toppled it over.

[blackmyth]

I use the knife to cut a small hole in the side.

[Cheeseman778]

You rev up your gas-powered baby and cut a hole into the Forest Dew 2-liter. The liquid gushes out onto the bottom floor into a carbonated, waiting-to-be-sticky mess.

[sonicchaos1993]

Both: drink forest dew

[Cheeseman778]

You drink the Forest Dew. Your Hyperactivity gauges go up a healthy 3rd way up. The Prisoner's Hyperactivity gauge is much larger since he's had plenty of time to became uneasy in his cell.

[blackmyth]

Both get their hands covered in pop, which becomes very sticky, which now allows them to climb up walls. Afterwords, both look around for a way into the freezer, if there is one.

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner cover your hands in pop, making for a sticky mess. With your sticky hands, you attempt to climb down to find a way out of the Fridge. You hold onto the ledge and let go. The problem is, you don't fall. Or is it a problem...?

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

Climb down fridge and up to freezer

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner have finished raiding the Fridge and decide to leave. You come out into the lounge room again, regular-sized.

You open the freezer and see ice cube trays (with ice cubes, of course), a box of pizza rolls, some frozen hamburger patties, chicken breasts, pork chops, frozen vegetable bags, cans of juice, and ice cream.

[blackmyth]

Both take ice cream and pizza rolls, then look around the room.

[Cheeseman778]

You take the ice cream while the prisoner takes the pizza rolls. You both keep in mind that these could melt or expire once thawed.

You look around the room. Nothing much has changed since you raided the Fridge.

[blackmyth]

Both try to take the TV.

[Kerma]

Pull out portable D&D set and play it.

[Cheeseman778]

You and the Prisoner decide to try to take the TV. But where would you take it to? And it looks awfully heavy.

You think it would be a great idea to play Dungeons and Dragons. But you don't see any supplies for it. So, you decide to improvise! You use your imagination and transport yourself to the Land of Make-Believe Dungeon.

The Prisoner isn't so lucky. He uses his dismal imagination and transports himself to Two Dimensional Black-and-White Dungeon.

Oh no! The two are no longer together! Why, oh, why did you use your imagination? Hopefully it isn't too hard to get back to the real world. Go on and use your imagination to get yourself and the Prisoner home free!