You can tell you are an idiot when

[varkarrus]

1) You use a pair of keys to open a bottle of gatorade (which I did, successfully)

[Manga Chic]

2) You push the pull door and pull the push

[peter]

3)press a button that says"world self destruct"

[Julian]

3)press a button that says"world self destruct"
4. Actually believe that something like that exists :P (I'm not saying you do, I'm just saying it)

[Reecer6]

5. You, when locked in a bed store for the night, sleep on the floor.

[drgamer]

6) You've flunked out of school... in kindergarten. (For all you not Americans who don't know, it's basically the first year of schooling (usually). The system goes from Kindergarten to first through twelfth grade)

[peter]

7)you drink a molovane cocktail

[drgamer]

8.) You lose your keys, search for them for hours, then realize you don't HAVE any keys.

[TyTBone]

9) You can't find your glasses and then realize they're on your head. XD

[Megadog]

You lock your self IN the car!

[Kerma]

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store

[TyTBone]

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store.

[Megadog]

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store?

[Sillyman]

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store!

[Kerma]

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store?!?!?

[Megadog]

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store.

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store?

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store!

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store?!?!?

You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store!?.

[Pumpkineater]

11) You have a migraine and walk into a lamp store.

[varkarrus]

12) You don't check to see if something has been posted before.
13) You have a migrane and walk into a lamp store.

[Julian]

13) You purposely post something that has previously been posted many times.

[Max]

14) when you try to commit suicide by jumping off the ground floor of an eighty-six story high building

[Ubernoob]

15) You go to a movie and expect a happier ending than the last time you saw it.

[Max]

16) when you say you're an idiot

[Ubernoob]

17) When someone calls you an idiot and you ask what he means.

[Max]

18) when you tell someone how to keep an idiot in suspense

[Ubernoob]

How do you?

19) You lobby for idiots' rights.

[Max]

Pretty clever Ubernoob but I'm not an idiot!:)

20) You eat snake skin even though hamburgers are available

[Ubernoob]

You were supposed to say, "I'll tell you tomorrow."

21) You know too many knock-knock jokes.

[Max]

I know I was supposed to say that but I already mentioned that you're na idiot when you tell someone how to keep an idiot in suspense

22) when you keep posting in a thread that is 3 years old and is never read

[varkarrus]

23) When you trash talk to a duck, then get mad at him for being silent at you.

[Max]

24) when you hit a wall calling it an idiot

[Ubernoob]

Sorry Max, I was too idiotic to figure out where you were coming from.

ninja'd!

25) When you bash your shin on something, and then kick it for hurting you.

[Max]

26) when you kill a dead duck

[varkarrus]

27)When you kill a dead duck after already killing it.

[Ubernoob]

28) When you spend the money and time to develop duck resurrection technology just so you can rekill the ducks.

[TyTBone]

13) You purposely post something that has previously been posted many times.

[That was the idea. Just so we're clear, I wasn't calling Kerma an idiot.]

[varkarrus]

34) When you lose count.

[Julian]

[That was the idea. Just so we're clear, I wasn't calling Kerma an idiot.]
[Also, I can see that what I said might have been offensive... it was a joke, no offense intended. None of us here are idiots.]

[varkarrus]

Except those who are self-admitted idiots.

1) You use a pair of keys to open a bottle of gatorade (which I did, successfully)

I actually used the keys to cut the seal that seals the cap to the bottle. Then I was able to open it normally.

[Gamer99]

35 : When you want to have hot chocolate , and go to kitchen , and you forget what you had to drink.

[Julian]

Except those who are self-admitted idiots.



I actually used the keys to cut the seal that seals the cap to the bottle. Then I was able to open it normally.
I did that with a water bottle and my fingernail.... :P

[Connor S.]

6) You've flunked out of school... in kindergarten. (For all you not Americans who don't know, it's basically the first year of schooling (usually). The system goes from Kindergarten to first through twelfth grade)

My Grandfather did that, but only because he was away from school for more then 50% of the year due to a potentially life threatening illness.

[varkarrus]

31: Pulling down your pants in public... When you are an adult!

[bowserfan]

32: You play kaizo mario world.

[Sillyman]

43. You don't get to the thread in time to correct the numbers so that it gets to 42.

Edit: 44. You correct the numbers and yet go one off.

[Megadog]

When you are a judge and sentence someone to be killed to death.

[Kerma]

35} You have a headache and walk into a music store.

[King Krazy]

22- You go looking for a Marilyn Manson CD to relax.
23- (sorry to Ozzy fans!) You look to Ozzy Osborn for anti-drug advice. (sorry but just about everyone knows he's been doing drugs for a while)

[varkarrus]

1 Furaffinatillion) You make up number

[Reecer6]

N/A: You think a feather weighs more than an elephant.

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

I dunno) You confuse roofies for asprin

[TyTBone]

You buy a sealed trash can. You open the trash can up, then realize you have a bunch of plastic covering left over from opening up the trash can. You wonder what to do with the trash. Then you realize you have a trash can.

[Ufo-Man]

#52: You spend hours flipping over a card that says "Flip this card over and follow the directions on that side" on both sides.

[varkarrus]

12) You post in the wrong thread.

oops.

[King Krazy]

You find an upside-down spoon and think you were cheated because the concave side is reversed and u can't use it. ( kind of took this from a particular Farside cartoon.

[Ubernoob]

You have trouble putting on a glove, OJ-style.

[TyTBone]

?) You think Maury Povich and Jerry Springer are gods.

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

Wow... Just Wow.

[thingie]

???)you walk in to a lamp post

[TyTBone]

???)you walk in to a lamp post

I chuckled at first, then lol'd after thinking about the utter silliness of this.


33) You walk across a cross walk and then say to yourself, "Epic win!" because you didn't get hit.

[Max]

34) you become me:evil:

[peter]

you try to make friends with a inanimate object

[Max]

36) you try to open an opened jar

[Reecer6]

57 (real number): You think the word "Smile" means "A color that is a mix of White, Gray, and blue."

[Ubernoob]

You bonk your head on the floor while falling from a banana peel slip.

[Ufo-Man]

you try to marry an inanimate object

[Reecer6]

60: You try to... Reproduce with an inanimate object.

[Megadog]

"The ocean and I are getting married! Isn't that right ocean? The ocean says yes!"

[Max]

You think that photosynthesis means taking a photo

[TyTBone]

You think that photosynthesis means taking a photo

Lol. Not bad.

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

61: You try to put a candy bar in a vending machine to get money.

[Manga Chic]

#...Yep! Lost count!: You ask the answering machine a question then destroy it when it doesn't answer (well, it's an answering machine!)
#...Pie!: You lose count when the answer is above you
#:D: You say that Pie and :D are numbers

[King Krazy]

#Rofl : You look up "dictionary" in the dictionary,and the universe asplode XD
# 73 or somthin': You think "rofl" is a number
# 74 : You think Fallout Boy actually writes their MUSIC. ( they write bad lyrics and take music)

[Megadog]

You look up "dictionary" in the dictionary,and the universe asplode XD
I'vedone this before...

[Ubernoob]

Instead of writing a test, you mark the spelling and grammar of the questions.

[Max]

when you think that phagocytes are Factory sites

[peter]

something:you think that vinegar is made from vines

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

You buy a guitar when your parents ask you to buy an axe.

[Kerma]

"The ocean and I are getting married! Isn't that right ocean? The ocean says yes!"

For America. (http://www.tubecodes.com/watch=osvHsWR_Sp4)

[death]

#pi: you spell "I" wrong.

[Sillyman]

#80 (fo' shizzle) You fall into Jamul's trap (that is more cunning than cunning Sackville-Baggins from Cunning Rows, New Cunning) of standing around waiting for you to blurt out that you are a Pirate Mutant Traitor.

[peter]

81=you think that deleteing HPG was a good/reasonable thing to do

[Max]

You think that the guy who made the IE icon couldn't write an E so he wrote a small one and drew a line around it

[drgamer]

You think that #11 makes sense.

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

It does

[thegabester]

Eat a birthday cake without blowing out the candles

[Redbone]

85: You can't find the hidden webgame.

[peter]

tell me were the new web game is!please?

[peter]

and I"m not idiot cause I can't find something!So now I'm gonna destroy you with a tooth pick and musterd

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

Sounds Interesting, Let me know how that goes

[Ufo-Man]

When you cant pronounce "Oreo"

[Ubernoob]

When you run out of ways to detect idiocy.

[Max]

You think that threads are used to make clothes

[bowserfan]

You don't read peter's comments on his profile and don't go to the link
i posted.

[Max]

You try to commit suicide by jumping off a window...of the ground floor

[Ubernoob]

You go on a diet where you eat more food and exercise less.

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

I should try that!

Slightly offtopic (But what does that matter in TM?) You can tell your life is boring when you have dreams about cutting fabric. True Story.

[Max]

when you can tell when you're an idiot

[Ubernoob]

Paradoxically, knowing you're an idiot is the first step to curing yourself of idiocy.

When you cross the street without looking out for cars or trucks or buses or bikes.

[Megadog]

When you fail at a survey.
When you climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.
When you put lipstick on your forehead to make up your mind.
When you spend hours trying to find the corners of round rooms, staring at glasses of OJ because the cup said concentrate, trying to put M&M's in alphabetical order and with a piece of paper with 'Please turn over' on both sides.
When......



I can go on for ages but I won't, as I enjoy what little sanity I have left.

[King Krazy]

You watch youtube's " Is It A Good Idea To Microwave This?" as an instructional video. (pretty funny actually though often hamumu unfriendly)

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

You think BYOB means "Bring your own Barbie".

You ask for a Martini at a 4 year old's birthday party.

[Ubernoob]

...
You ask for a Martini at a 4 year old's birthday party.

You ask for four martinis at a one year old's birthday party.

[Max]

you give someone a hand by cutting it off and giving it to him

[Ubernoob]

You dare to tangle with Friend Computer!

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

You spell tango wrong

[Ubernoob]

You ask, "What's an idjit?"

[Max]

you act like an idiot

[cyberclone42]

You think dumb is spelled d-u-h-m

[Max]

when you believe its safe to go the sun at night

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

When you go stargazing in the daytime.

Also, how to kill an idiot...
Put a scratch n' sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

[pumpkinbob]

How to kill an idiot...
Put a scratch n' sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

I Lol'd.

#???:When you think you can run fast like Sonic the hegehog.

[Ubernoob]

You think dumb is spelled d-u-h-m

"duhm" is the sound made when someone is hit over the head with a blunt object like a cosh. Hence the derived words "duhming" and "randuhm", which is a random duhming.

[King Krazy]

You were the inspiration for "American Idiot" or "Canadian Idiot"

[Max]

You invent a solar powered flashlight

[Ninja of Frozen Milk]

You invent a solar powered flashlight
Ahem...

http://www.ubergizmo.com/photos/solarverter_flashlight.jpg

It can be done. Y'ever heard of rechargable batteries?

[Ubernoob]

when you believe its safe to go the sun at night

So Max, I gather then that you've heard of the Polish Space Program?

They were going to land a man on the sun.

Critics of the plan said this was way too dangerous. To this, the government replied, "Fools! We're going to do the launch at night!"

[Max]

Ahem...

pic

It can be done. Y'ever heard of rechargable batteries?

I meant that would a solar powered flashlight be of any use as you mainly use a flashlight at night!!! Anyway if you're gonna be critics, I might not post then! nah! Who am I kidding, I'll post anyways

when you try to shave your acne off

[Ubernoob]

When you think your hair will stop growing if you don't water it and stay out of the sun.

[Manga Chic]

When you think your hair will stop growing if you don't water it and stay out of the sun.
Which results in wild, greasy hair and grey skin.
#Supercalifragelistic!: When you take a walk in the winter in shorts. Two weeks later, you ask how you got sick.

[Ubernoob]

When you try to dress in California fashions, like you see on TV, even when you live in Toronto. Example, girls baring their stomachs like Britney Spears, and wearing miniskirts in winter.

[Manga Chic]

Welcome, brotha, to American Reality T.V.