View Full Version : 258 Things to do with a Dead Haddock #500, here we come!
10-29-2005, 09:26 AM
258 Things to do with a Dead Haddock
258 things at last check!!!!
1) Eat it.
2) Throw it at a policeman.
3) Put it in someone else's drink.
4) Turn it in to the RSPCA. (or WSPA)
5) Stuff it in your sock.
6) Use it for target practice.
7) Make it into a novelty pen.
8.) Mummify it and put it in a matchstick pyramid.
9) Hit people with it to relieve stress.
10) Stamp on it so its brains dribble out.
11) Leave it in a warm, damp place and see what grows on it.
12) Set it on fire and use it as a torch.
13) Cut it up into interesting shapes.
14) Take it down to the taxidermist's.
15) Tie it to a tree.
16) Frame it, and hang it on a wall.
17) Fire it out of a cannon.
18.) Use it as a bookmark.
19) Tell your shop that it's faulty, and demand a replacement.
20) Make it into expensive French perfume.
21) Gaze into its sad little fishy eyes.
Rules for new things to do with a dead haddock:
You may add as many as you like.
They must be numbered, with the numbers carrying on from the last additions.
The additions must make sense, to some degree.
Oh, and put a . between the number 8 and ), or they'll turn into 8) .
Things 1-20 are from the Fat Crow Comics Book of Complete Twaddle, which will never be finished, let alone published.
Disclaimer: Actually doing these things with a dead haddock is not reccomended.
10-29-2005, 09:37 AM
22) Blend it into a Smoothie
23) Make it into trendy footwear
10-29-2005, 09:38 AM
24) Try to convert it to your religion
25) Give it a bath and a $15 gift card
26) Whack it on a rock repeatedly and pretend you're gollum
27) Put a miniature tie dye T-shirt on it and pretend it's a hippie
10-29-2005, 09:39 AM
Forget it. You beat me! :roll:
10-29-2005, 09:40 AM
28.) Wear it on your head
29) Play football with it
30) Put it on a Rocket as the Co-Pilot
10-29-2005, 12:00 PM
31) Revive it and set it free
32) Giftwrap it and give it to someone
33) Dust your monitor with it
34) Sell it in eBay
10-29-2005, 12:04 PM
35) stop a computer virus with it.
10-29-2005, 12:38 PM
36.Dump into Toxic waste
37.Throw it into space
38.Bounce on it like a trampoline
40.Blow it up! :twisted:
10-29-2005, 06:08 PM
41) Sell it to a random person on the street
42) Ask it why 42 is the Answer to Life, Universe, and Everything
43) Eat it
44) Throw it in the river
45) Stick in a shopping cart
46) Give it out as a prize in Bingo
47) Bury it in quicksand
48.) Wack someone with it
49) Make it a celebrity
50) Write a sit-com for it
51) throw it over a shark tank
52) Claim that it can fly
53) leave it in the middle of the road and wait and see what happens
54) Put it in the local fish market
55) Put it on ice
56) claim it 'was the big one'
57) make it into a trophy
58.) come up with over 50 things to do with a dead Haddock with it
59) Write a poem about it
60) Sniff it
61) Get another one and make a pair of Haddock shoes
62) Cut down a tree with it
63) Use it to support a bridge
64) Use it as collatoral for a loan
65) Convince other people it is one of those singing fish things
66) Feed it to a shark
67) Make a horror movie about it
68.) Make a love story about it
69) Make it the star of a theme park
70) Wear it
10-29-2005, 09:43 PM
71)Make it into a Costume
72)make it into a pizza
73)use it as a Mousepad
10-30-2005, 12:06 PM
74) Put sugar and salt on it
75) Write haiku about it
76) bloat it with helium and fly away on it
77) Use it ingeniously to start a massive war between pirates, ninja, robots, and fairies with it.
78.) Make a dumb game about it
79) give yourself a manicure using its nutritious fish oils.
10-30-2005, 02:24 PM
80) make a Sci-fi Movie about it
81) Claim it's a specimen taken from atlantis
82) Put it in a public restroom(In a locked stall and in the toilet)
83) put it in a ventilation shaft
84) Fish Sticks
85) Revive it, set it free, catch it and repeat
86) Play checkers with it
87) Play Chess with it
88.) Trade it
89) Halloween 'candy'
90) Christmas Present
91) birthday Present
92) Make a webcomic about it
93) Make it sentinet and have it pay half your apartment rent
94) Make a top ten list of best things to do with a dead Haddock
95) Break a world record with it
96) Break all the world records with it (By breaking the book with it)
97) Let it rot
98.) Paint it
99) Dip it in gold
100) Come up with 100 things to do with a dead Haddock
101) Dip it in chocolate
102) Spread nutella on it
103) Spread peanut butter on it
104) Make a sandwitch with it
I have officialy posted the most things to do with a dead haddock... That's just sad...
10-30-2005, 03:11 PM
105) Ask it what the capital of Peru is.
10-30-2005, 03:32 PM
106) Try to get it to carry a coconut across the ocean.
107) Feed it to your pet parrot/squid/pelican
108.) Challenge it to a match of Hungry Hungry Hippos
109) Grind it up, put it in a bottle, and call it "formula 109"
110) Nominate it for president of the world
111) Make up a holiday about it and celebrate every year.
10-30-2005, 05:21 PM
112) Exotic Perfume
113) Mix it in a batch of tea
114) Dead Haddock Lemonade
115) Genetically enhance it to make it extremly bouncy, sell it as a 'boucny fish'
116) Connect it to an electric circuit
117) Make it do your homework
118.) Put it in a fishtank
119) Make it into a wallet
120) Start a dead Haddock fad
121) Name a line of exotic cars after it
122) Feed it to your cat
123) Give the bones to your dog
124) Hang it as a Halloween decoration
125) Take it shopping
126) Blame it for the gas
127) Say it ate your homework
128) Sign it up to the fourms
129) Smash it with the world's largest hammer (The one I refered to a few months back)
130) Make a TV show about it
131) Make a wikipedia article about its major life accomplishments
132) Sign it up for the salmon channel
133:Sell it to the chip shop
134:Register it on the Hamumu forum
10-31-2005, 12:02 PM
135: Turn it into a Dr. Lunitic playable character.
10-31-2005, 12:50 PM
136) Dip it in liquid nitrogen.
137) Stuff it up your nose.
10-31-2005, 01:31 PM
138.) Make it an honorary member of the ninja scouts
139) NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!!
140) Create a machine that can store music files on it
141) Stick toothpicks with gummies into it
10-31-2005, 05:22 PM
142: Use it to catch a herring with which you then find a shrubery.
11-01-2005, 08:45 AM
143) Dissolve it
144) Drink it
11-02-2005, 07:11 AM
145.) Try to figure out what the **** is a haddock anyways
11-02-2005, 07:50 AM
146) Show a picture of a haddock (http://havsfiske.wasa.net/info/kolja1.jpg) in Hamumu forum
11-02-2005, 08:58 AM
147.) Finally figure out what a haddock is :D
11-02-2005, 10:29 AM
148.) Play baseball with it
149: Make it King of the Universe.
11-03-2005, 08:03 AM
151: Say "blabtyblahblah" to it.
11-03-2005, 08:21 AM
152) Hide it
153) Find it
11-03-2005, 11:02 AM
154) Look at it suspiciously.
155) Dangle it from some string to see where the wind is blowing.
11-07-2005, 01:12 PM
156.use it to paint the mona lisa
11-08-2005, 06:51 AM
157) Wash your car with it
158.) Squeeze it
11-09-2005, 11:29 AM
159) Poke it repeatedly.
11-11-2005, 04:45 AM
160) Do genetic tests on it
161) Make a haddock army
162) Bring it back to life
163) Bootleg Hamumu games with it
164) Sell it to Bill Gates for $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00
165) Invent it
11-11-2005, 04:59 AM
166) Turn it into Onion soup
167) Turn it into pie.
11-11-2005, 11:07 AM
Thanks for editing the total, Hammered! (Or jamul, I can't really tell.)
11-13-2005, 03:32 PM
168) Lick it
169) Put it on the disc slot in your dvd player...then close it :twisted:
170) Tie it to an electric fence
11-14-2005, 08:41 AM
171) Turn it into Frankenfish
11-14-2005, 08:49 AM
172) Send it to someone
173) Ask it back
174) Throw it into lava
175) Fish it back
11-14-2005, 09:47 AM
176) make it the leader of an ethnic support group
11-14-2005, 10:01 AM
177) Sell it to the second hand shop
178) Buy it from the second hand shop for half the money you sold it for
179) Go back to step 1 and repeat.
11-14-2005, 10:37 AM
180) Donate it to world hunger relief
181) Fight Matilda X (http://hamumu.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?p=44354&highlight=#44354) with it
11-14-2005, 10:43 AM
182) slap someone round the face with it
183) Make it say sorry
11-14-2005, 01:34 PM
When will it end?
Never! NEVER! HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!! :twisted:
11-14-2005, 05:02 PM
184) repeat steps 1-183
11-15-2005, 09:36 AM
185) Put a wig on it and call it funk master roni
11-16-2005, 11:19 AM
186) Grate it over a salad.
11-16-2005, 02:10 PM
187) Use it to write the communist manifesto on a piece of cheese.
188.) Take it with you on a vacation to Hoboken
189) Start a psychadelic rock band called Dead Haddock
190) Tie it to a pole and put it on a mountain.
191) Haddock sushi.
11-18-2005, 07:48 AM
192) Confuse it for a hammock.
193) Make a kid's movie for it (Finding Haddock).
194) Smell it.
195) Faint of the horrible smell. (What'd you expect?)
196) Make a topic on the message board about it. (Gee, how orignal!)
11-18-2005, 01:07 PM
197) Make it into a fancy calculator/digital watch.
198.) Make a puzzle about it on www.dumbthegame.com
199) Have a debate over socialism and capitalism with it.
200) Write a novel, 200 Things to do With a Dead Haddock in one month (www.nanowrimo.org)
11-18-2005, 01:15 PM
201. make a colorful pen out of its scales and write about 202 things to do
202. stuff it with a piece of cheese.
11-18-2005, 01:59 PM
203) Splice open it's spleen.
204) Give it to some hungry homeless people.
11-18-2005, 02:11 PM
205) Dress it as a badger and sing the badger song!
11-19-2005, 05:17 AM
206) If you still have it, sell it on the market.
11-19-2005, 05:59 AM
207) If you still have it after that, sell it on the black market illegally
208) Freeze it into a haddock popsicle
209) Yell "Let's blow this haddock popsicle stand!" and run away
11-19-2005, 09:31 AM
210) Cut holes in it and turn it into a stylish pair of glasses.
11-19-2005, 09:37 AM
211) Make holes in it and play it as a flute.
212) Make Christmas decorations out of it.
11-21-2005, 03:33 PM
213) Revive it.
214) Extract the iodine from it and use it as an iodine supplement.
215) Ditto for above except with vitamins instead of iodine.
216) Feed it to the seagulls.
217) Wear it like a hat.
218) Study its anatomy.
219) Use it as fuel for a fire.
220) Put it back in your aquarium or another body of water.
221) Use it to do an organ transplant with a live haddock.
11-22-2005, 07:23 AM
222) Feed a living haddock with it
223) Make a website, www.deadhaddock.com
11-22-2005, 09:51 AM
224) Turn it into a zombie.
225) Put two dead haddock zombie brains together to make a Super Dead Haddock Zombie!
226) Use them as lawyers to protect you when Dr. L sues you for stealing his idea.
11-22-2005, 10:52 AM
225) Fight Matilda-X wih it.
11-22-2005, 12:12 PM
226) take it on walks, pretending not to know it's dead
227) make a trading card game about it
228) build a catapult and use it to launch the haddock at someone's house
229) scare small children with it
230) paint festive designs on it
231) sell it to a circus
232) replace it's head with a random fruit or vegetable and show it to people
11-22-2005, 06:10 PM
233)Use it as a puppet
234)Hire it as an actor in the Spongebob Squarepants show
11-23-2005, 05:32 AM
235) Turn it into a dead princess and make up 69 things to do with it
11-24-2005, 05:41 AM
236) feed it to Koko the Gorrila
237) Teach it to play SWC
238) Disect it and show it to a girl!
239) Disect it and show it to a boy!
240) Disect it's brain and eat it in the hope that you'll be less dumb!
241) Teach it how to read minds
242) Throw it into a black hole
11-24-2005, 05:46 AM
243) Say "Not tonight; I have a haddock!"
11-24-2005, 05:35 PM
244) Teach it to sing the Crysilis song
245) Clone it
246) Study it
247) Teach it to compose music as amazingly as Luigi Electtrico
248) Put it in Starfighter's laser cannons
249) Make it your avatar
250) Use it to write "I am a dead haddock" in your signature
11-25-2005, 03:37 AM
251) Put it in top of your pizza
252) Eat the pizza with dead haddock on top
253) Flush it down the toilet
11-27-2005, 01:35 PM
254) Feed it to a llama.
255) Use it as a Christmas present.
256) Write a Zen parable about it.
257) Make it into a bagel.
258.) Liquefy it and then cause a disruption by walking down the hall, gargling noisily with the juice.
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