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Old 04-02-2008, 09:02 AM   #1
drgamer
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Default Uh... a story...

Erm. I'm just gonna post some random writings or something...

Quote:
Droplets of sweat fell onto the floor. Everyone in the room was tense. They could lose their jobs if they failed. This was simply too important a cause to fail. The procedure should be simple, but... someone had sabotaged the equipment. No one could believe it. These things just didn't happen here.

Who would sabotage a hospital, of all places?

Everyone was distracted with that one question. That one fear. Who knows what that despicable villain would do next? The hospital was thought to be secure from such acts; they had secured the building, right? The sudden alarm of the machine brought everyone to a dismal full attention.

Was it too late? The doctor, using all the skills he had learned, his expertise from years of working here, knew what he had to do. He ordered someone to administer the anesthetic.

Thud
. Gears strained, the metal shifted. A hollow metal echo resounded through the room.

The machine had stopped its remorseful alarm. The doctor had kicked the machine. Everyone was stunned; this was expensive equipment! It isn't meant to be hit like some toy.

"Bah! Faulty equipment! Why must we work with it, today of all days?" the doctor replied to the faculty's silence.

The assistant returned, with the necessary dosage in hand. "This should give us enough time," he sighed, administering said medication.

"We have no choice, we have to make the call," the doctor suddenly stated. He reached for the emergency phone. "This is serious. Our equipment has been damaged, and he needs an air transfusion! He's stabilized for now, and we'll try our best, but there's no telling how long we have. You know what to do."
...Yeah, I was just kinda bored...
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Old 04-02-2008, 01:16 PM   #2
Connor S.
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Not Yerfdog!!!!
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Old 04-02-2008, 01:19 PM   #3
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

VOTE: Connor!
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Old 04-02-2008, 01:22 PM   #4
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Come on, you knew there had to be a story behind that tagline!

So did anyone like it? You can donate yerfbucks to encourage me to write more... I even have a vague storyline in mind...
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Old 04-03-2008, 06:07 PM   #5
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

This definetly looks interesting! . Do keep writing!

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Old 05-06-2008, 05:19 PM   #6
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Erm... sorry for not updating the story... Just a little 'Writer's sphere' And just plain forgetting. And I just came up with quite a twist for much later on. Now, the exact twist can be altered... *some time passes in writing that particular sentence* Okay, there we go. Got the one variant that I'm going to use. Plus side of getting distracted by thoughts and what I'm going to write after I finish what I'm talking about.

Oh, and yeah, I probably could have done this earlier, as I do do this on the spot... but then I might not have been able to do it in exactly this way. Oh, and I wouldn't have been able to create exactly the same imagery... Well, onward and foreword(which this kinda is ) to the actual writing of the story.
Quote:
Hollow footsteps echoed through the now empty, dark hospital hallways. Well, almost empty. This was indeed after hours and when the night staff helped keep everything running during the graveyard shift. An extra pair of slightly limping footsteps along with the creaking sound of old wheels moving across the tiled floor. They belonged to a quite strange gentleman who had used an old equal opportunity act to squeeze his way into employment. Well, except for the wheels, those belonged to the standardized janitorial equipment he had to use.

His face was severely bandaged, due to an accident he had earlier, although the details he gave were quite vague, but it was to be expected, due to the trauma the hospital had to treat him for. At least, that's what his story was, to whoever asked.

The bemused janitor kept walking until he reached a familiar door. He got out his large keyring, oddly enough having only the key he used to unlock the door. After rolling in his equipment, he gently closed the door behind him, as if it was an old friend he had not seen in a long time. Indeed, one could say that it was in a way. It had been months since he had seen that door as he himself chuckled when realizing what he had just done.

"Ahh... It feels odd being back in the old office, after all these months. I must make sure those filthy scoundrels haven't stolen everything," murmured the bemused janitor, noticing a distinct lack of trinkets and books, although they did leave the layer of dust that covered most of the surfaces, although perhaps they didn't, and this was new dust from his absence. He sighed and opened one of the desk drawers, pausing only to contemplate what he would do if the drawer's contents had indeed been moved, while placing his hand in the drawer.

He looked inside, and realized that he had quite narrowly missed what was inside, although perhaps this was a good thing, considering what the drawer's contents actually were. Someone had a twisted sense of humor. All the drawer now contained was a single, set mouse trap. The bandaged custodian chuckled at the perhaps accidental symbolism that that lone trap had, compared to his life.

Well, it was time to get the actions planned for him tonight started. He placed an odd article in the drawer, not in a particular fashion, just making sure that it was placed face up. Quite ironically, the trap snapped on the article, and not just that, the word 'FIRE' of the headline was encircled by the metal bars.

Leaving the drawer open, he rummaged through the cart, until he found what he was looking for within it. A simple hammer, designed to allow the user to escape a flooding car by smashing a window, although it was an interesting shade of red. With a few well placed hits, the window of the office shattered - but didn't break.

He dropped the hammer into an empty waste bin, and proceeded to drop the bandages that were on him, at least the ones that were on the skin that would have normally would have been visible, on top of the hammer. He was amazed at how much the plastic surgeons had been able to change, as he felt his face. No one would recognize him now.

With that finished, he could finally wrap up the end of his night. He threw- no hurtled the janitorial's cart THROUGH the now weakened window, screaming some oddly mad, unintelligible yell. He was confident, everything was going great. All he had to do now was to remember that the doctor was no more. This proved much easier, as he accidentally slipped and knocked himself out. And the doctor really was no more.

Those who responded were shocked. With one of them saying exasperatingly, "crazy git!" They moved him to the only emergency response area that was available...In the insanity ward. Which, incidentally, was more or less where the unconscious person had wanted to be, minus the emergency response part.
Want to have input into it? Well, all you have to do is come up with a name for the doctor and the identity of the new patient of the ward. It also seems that the records of who worked here and who the patients in the insanity ward are. Luckily, you have a chance to come up with the details. You can even come up with self-inserts. All I and my pal Igor here need are names, personality, and, if applicable, mental disorder(s). And we won't change the entries...much. You have our word as a man in a mad scientists coat, and me! (Nah, I'm the one in the coat, Igor just got a hold of the keyboard 'No I didn't!'. Igor can be quite silly sometimes)

Oh, and if something happens to your character/ a character you like. Or perhaps some other oddity. Remember, it's just a story. You really should just relax.

And remember, a lot of the people are insane
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Old 05-06-2008, 06:37 PM   #7
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Wow, you're good at writing! Keep up the great work!
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Old 05-08-2008, 06:28 PM   #8
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Huh, no one wants to create crazy people then
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Old 05-27-2008, 04:40 PM   #9
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Since you guys didn't help come up with the crazy people, we get a time jump A bad one.Hmm, alright I'll just go in a different direction then. First person this time. But it actually builds this guys character.
Quote:
Ugh... My...head...hurts!
They're here. They're always here. Even when it looks like they aren't. They're just there. The chicken scratches on these... padded walls. Thousands of them. Thousands cannot be wrong.

It's-it's-it's changing! New information! Blasted jacket! I can't move around easily... I...just can't get up!

*15 minutes pass*
(Heavy breathing is heard, as if someone is out of breath)
Now to see what the writing on the wall is.

"Doctor, we'll get you out of there"
Yes! I was a doctor! My name was...

That's when the sharp pain entered my skull. It was just too much. I passed out.
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Old 05-29-2008, 07:19 PM   #10
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Well, got inspired to write some more right now...
Quote:
"It seems his condition is getting worse. He's started manic laughter again," said some easily forgettable staff member. "We should just get him out of solitary and hope he does better with human contact."

The patient muttered to himself. 'The writing has taken form, it lives! It SPEAKS! All I have to do is listen, and I'll be free.' A sly smile crept upon his face.
That's right, I'm giving you guys somewhat control of him! Choose 'your' own adventure, minus the low choice numbers.
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Old 05-29-2008, 08:09 PM   #11
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Is there a reflective surface? If so, look at it and see what you look like.
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Old 05-29-2008, 08:39 PM   #12
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

This is more of an example of what happens... I'll wait longer in the future, but this kinda could be considered huge plot advancement. I also need a name to call this guy .
Quote:
The patient, looking around his surroundings, finds a lone window, alas it is boarded up. But the glass remains. He slowly walks over to it, as for some reason, his leg is acting up. Actually, both of them are. He glances at the window, seeing his dim reflection. It seems someone put a small mirror in the corner.

He spys a figure wearing a medical mask. No wait! That isn't just any figure! It's HIM! The man steps back, falling onto a sofa, where he convienently sits, spending time to contemplate on what to do.

He finally figured out what to do. He started to pull loose the medical mask. Something fell out and rolled under the sofa, and in his distraction, he mispulled, causing him to nearly faint, but he still collapsed on the sofa.
Erm. Not so short as I thought it would be... Eh, happy surprise.
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Old 05-29-2008, 09:48 PM   #13
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Quote:
Originally Posted by drgamer View Post
I also need a name to call this guy .
I was thinking "Douglas" (last name).
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Old 05-30-2008, 11:34 AM   #14
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Well, it seems I've gotten the most input I'm going to get at this point... I also got a little hidden input (chat input, but it was what I thought would happen anyways, lol; well, mostly)
Quote:
The masked man looked under the sofa, to try to get what fell out.
"Yo! Douglas! Whatcha doing?" Called some unknown person.

The still masked man grabbed whatever fell under the sofa and shoved it into one of his pockets, got up, and looked around, expecting two people out there. There was only one.

"Douglas, don't you recognize me?" The other patient said, as 'Douglas' could now see. "Don't tell me they mind wiped you AGAIN! That'd be the third time this week, what'd you do this time? Remember too much? Get into a fight? Told Luke you were his father again? Man, you should stop doing that, you know it makes him angry!"

'Douglas' realized his last name was Douglas... Although he didn't remember much else. These acts were unfamiliar to him.
Yeah, you can still do input, sillys!
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:24 PM   #15
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Quote:
Originally Posted by drgamer View Post
Well, it seems I've gotten the most input I'm going to get at this point... I also got a little hidden input (chat input, but it was what I thought would happen anyways, lol; well, mostly)

Yeah, you can still do input, sillys!
Wow, You are good at stories, I should get my english teacher to read this!!!
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:32 PM   #16
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Ninja of Frozen Milk View Post
Wow, You are good at stories, I should get my english teacher to read this!!!
I should get the person who publishes my mom's books to read this.
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Old 05-30-2008, 08:05 PM   #17
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

When you want input, do you want us to tell us what we think of your writing, or suggest a direction for the story, or just guess where we think it's going?

I'll do all three, and you can pick the one you like best.

I think your writing is good, definitely. Do you have any other short stories you've written that you are happy with, and would like to show us?

Suggestions for the story? I'd say that it would be fairly interesting if the story was in small arcs, each where his mind was wiped entirely, and things change in each part, subtly or otherwise. Characters change names, roles, and he doesn't remember, but we do. We put the pieces together, while he can't. (Kind of like Memento? But not really...)

And I have no idea where it's going. My guess is he goes ballistic at some point, which I look forward to.
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Old 05-30-2008, 09:12 PM   #18
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Some of that is what I was thinking of, Chinook. We'll be finding out some of his origins soon. And the color of his hair shortly... I think...

Any ideas for what Douglas can call his new buddy?

Edit: Yeah, there is one, if I can find it, and retype it up. It's several years old, and kind of a similar vein as the book/short story 'Joust'. I'm also writing another book on the side.

Oh, and in any case, I think the 'Nothing to see here' title kinda fits with this short story type thing
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Old 05-30-2008, 09:20 PM   #19
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

He should be called Captain Bullet-Punch-Man! Or maybe just Herman. Or Chuck. Ooooh! How about Jerry? Everybody loves Jerry!
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Old 05-31-2008, 06:21 AM   #20
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Default Re: Nothing to see here...

Huh, I coulda sworn that Coolguy's post only said Herman

Quote:
"Herman? Sheguy? Coolguy? Chuck? Jerry? Captain Bullet Punch Man?" Douglas asked, digging for the truth.

"It seems you're starting to regain your memory now," said the patient with one of those names, while sweat was visible on his brow. "yeah, my names Herman. You know, it's cake day in the cafeteria, I have some stuff to do first, meet me up there in a few, okay?"

'Herman' left towards a different hallway than the one marked 'CA TERIA' in somewhat faded letters, of which some were missing in a quite odd combination. Maybe they served real Chinese food?

Douglas reached into his pocket and got out the object that had fallen. It was a folded piece of paper.
I know whats on the paper. Do you? And yes, you can still help change what Douglas does.
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